Holiday!

Finally 2 weeks off... this has been the longest and dreadful summer of my life.. I really miss the 3 months off we had during high school years..

Anyway... tonight I'm living to get to my parents beach house in Tuscany just 1 hour and 15 minutes highway drive from where I live. To bad that I fucking hate that place.. think about Palm Beach, Italian version. Too many People..all the wrong kind. It helps that is also 20minutes drive away from Torre del Lago, namely the Italian Gay Bay... I used to dig that scene...

I'll be staying untill Tuesday just to tan a little, run, play tennis and make my 'rents happy.. why you'd aks? well one day I'd like to inherit and since I've already drop on them the "Lesbian Daughter" bomb, I've to play suck up from time to time.

Now the best part of my 2 weeks off will be the the 8 days I'll spend with GF! FINALLY I might add..

ME + HER + MY PLACE + 8 INTERRUPTED DAYS AND NIGHTS = you can imagine the result! :P

And just 'cause I would like to leave you with something funny look at this pic I took at my work notebook screen...

Notice something??





Too bad my colleagues are a bunch of stiff heteros otherwise they would have got the message :P :P

Happy Summer Holidays to everyone

see you on the 24th..

The way to Klingon

Apparently Italian Universities are running out of ideas of new courses and degrees to offer. It’s recent news that Rome University will be opening a new master degree in “Personal Training” something that should make us reflect on where we’re heading as a society...

Anyway while chatting as always with the Gentleman I suggested that we should probably propose to the dean even more new degrees to keep up with the modern ages…

The first we came up with, since we're stuck with this economic crisis, has been Escorting Siences… How to be a Gigolò in the 2.0 era...

Think about it: no morning classes (even menwhore need their beauty sleep... especially if you banged asses all night long...), for once in an entire life finally some subjects one may really want to study, and the certainty that after the degree you ARE GOING to find a job...

And believe me, we're not kidding... it wouldn't even be the craziest thing in university's history... do you remember Klingon classes? Enough said...

But since me and the Gently can't simply stop once a stupid issue has been found, we've spent almost 30 minutes thinking of the best subjects to put in the curricula, meaning that, and you all knew it, a list is about to be written:-)


PLEASE NOTE: I'm totally unaware of any not Italian university evaluation system, therefore I'll use the only one I know. To get your degree you must collect 180 credits in 3 years, said credits are given by passing exams. Every 27 hours of work (class and home) give you 3 credits.


FIRST YEAR (60 CREDITS)

(4) History of Prostitution - From Eve for an Apple to Paris Hilton;
(4) Terminology - How to always have the right (secure) word to say;
(10) Techniques of Giving Pleasure - You think you know it? Surprise! You don't.
(6) Kamasutra - To grant you a future good position;
(4) History of Pain Modulation - From Torquemada to Madame Brutale;
(10) Shopping 1 - Dress for success;
(6) Phisiology - This is a penis, that is a vagina;
(6) Cosmesis - Basic elements of Liquidproof makeup;
(10) Fitness 1 - Build up your career


SECOND YEAR (60 CREDITS)

(4) Empathy - How to anticipate any of your client's needs;
(10) Economy - Think about what you wanna buy then set the price;
(10) Mental Focusing - They're not all beauty contest winners...;
(6) Shopping 2 - Rubber & Leather;
(10) Fitness 2 - Spread your wings...;
(10) Techniques of Receiving Pleasure - Or pretending you're having some;


THIRD YEAR (60 CREDITS)

(10) Fitness 3 - Now you can rent a flat in Olympus;
(6) Shopping 3 - Things he\she's gonna buy for you;
(4) First Aid - Be prepared for anything;
(40) Practice - Earn a minimum of 10.000 in 2 weeks to get graduated


Something like this... now that's the degree I'd like to have. "Master Degree in Escorting"... but I'm not sure my parents will be glad at the party right after... hahahahahah


The Lady

This could be fun…or really ugly.

I’ve just found out that a new sexy store has opened not more than 3 minutes away from my place… suddenly adding plus 50% to all town sexy shop offer… (btw: 200 thousand people, just 2 sexy shops… are we officially the most sexually dull town in the world or what?)

Anyhoo… to add fun of cosmic proportion…I was surfing the net to see if they had a website (they don’t’) (don't look at me that way.. 2 days ‘till vacation and I’m officially out of things to do at work, you figure..) so I've found out another small detail about the shop… their phone number has just the last cipher different from my home number.. mine is 0 their is 1…

Potentially this could be one of the greatest unintentional karmic/cosmic coincidence ever…
Finally a true reason to keep an answering machine...

I mean… the possibilities for fun are endless… (this should also be a nice sexy shop catch phrase btw...)

Am I immature and childish enough to give away “the wrong” number at any given occasion? YOU BET I AM.

Am I seriously hoping that my mother will be there to pick up the first call from a customer complaining that the vibrator they bought isn’t working properly or asking if we got the last instalment of Debbie Does Dallas XXI or All the President’s men-whore…? YOU BET I AM.

Am I overexcited about it maybe ‘cause I’m bored to death? YES, probably I am…

La Rubrica del Profilo Incontri n°5

"One Night Only, o sesso alla Beyoncé"

Un altra sfaccettatura del diamantone da 200kg che mi si è riproposta di quando in quando nell'ultimo annetto... la meccanica è facile: conosci uno su internet, è simpatico, dalle foto sembra effettivamente uno bono così dopo 2 giri di cam e proposte indecenti velate da inviti a cena siete già li a meditare sul quando e sul come.

Ah, piccolo dettaglio: è oberato di impegni perchè sta partendo, ma non tra una settimana o un mese eh? No, troppo facile. Parte tra 2 giorni e sta a 100km...

Ma lasciatemi spiegare la faccenda in modo puramente e squisitamente personale di modo che chiunque possa capirlo:

"Sono esattamente quelle situazioni in cui dal di fuori potresti aver trovato l'uomo dei tuoi sogni (erotici o meno) ma che per un'intricata tarantella di bastardissime congiunzioni astrali non puoi approfondire dal di dentro perchè manca il tempo materiale per farlo"

E dietro di te, mentre architetti gli orari, il percorso e carichi il navigatore per non perderti riesci distintamente a sentire e vedere il fantasma di quella puttana della Beyoncé che alzando ritmicamente entrambe le dita medie ti canta "Heeeeee's gooooot one night only, one night only...."

All'attivo di questi incontri ne ho almeno una decina, il che mi porta a pensare che o sono io che attiro le farfalle o la casistica cosmica di questo periodo ha un finissimo senso dell'umorismo del quale per ora non colgo profondamente il senso...

Voglio dire, a cosa serve coltivare l'orto con amore quando poi non riesci a mangiarti i finocchi? Specialmente quelli Svizzeri aggiungerei...

La soluzione? Que sera, sera... d'altronde non è che ci si possa fare granché e in ogni caso anche io ad ottobre sarò uno di quelli in partenza... è una ruota che gira.

E poi ci sono volte in cui tutto questo correre per conoscere qualcuno da buoni frutti... specialmente quando ti ritrovi ad una cena con di fronte il tuo obbiettivo in pantaloncini che gioca a fare il ponte levatoio e di fianco, ai fornelli, c'è una stanga di suo miglior amico di 1,83 in slip col culo di marmo che prepara pollo alla senape per tutti facendoti più che altro pensare a quanto preferiresti un paio di gnocchi per dolce...



The Lady