Follow up

Follow up…




I have the tendency to talk about things or introduce issues and then drop them mercilessly..so here a little follow up…

1. My mother surprise birthday party last week went great, and by great I mean that the surprise factor almost gave her a stroke.. and no, I’m not exaggerating she positively became cyanotic from the shock. But after the initial cardiovascular scare the party went on without a problem. My dad stole my spotlight at the last moment wanting to Mc the night himself. He basically got scared shitless about me saying something inappropriate…
   


2. The day after the party I left for yet another wonderful, passionate, fulfilling weekend with GF… why am I saying this? No particular reason, I just like to brag :P
   


3. On a related note… while on the train, destination happiness, I had the unfortunate fate to travel with a family of six close by.. to be fair the 1st class wagon was unusually filled with children.. I let you imagine the chaos evoked by those evil spawns… the icing on the cake? One of the mothers, after I gave her the -WTF? Keep your gerbil-children quiet or I swear I’m gonna throw them out of the window -look calmly told to the little demons “c’mon children, be quiet and do not disturb the madam…” don’t mind the gerbils YOU bitch are now on top of my list of disposable passengers…
   


4. I bought a new car. Is small, pretty, with a sporty edge, all the geeky gizmos a car must have and sand coloured leather interior…for about 2.4 seconds I thought about buying an hybrid car, but then I reasoned that I did not want to dignified those car companies who attempt to guilt-induce me into buy a fugly piece of machinery just to prove that I am environmental friendly.. next time try to made an hybrid car that doesn’t look like a fucking piece of Lego. Btw..I don't know if it is possible to personalize car plates here in Italy but if it is I'm thinking about somenthig like: 2EVIL4U
   


5. On Sunday I almost risked a stroke following the French Open Men final between my beloved (mancrush wise) Roger Federer and this year surprise/underdog/champion slayer the Sweden Robin Soderling. For the ones of you who did not care about tennis, that was not just a match, nor just a Slam final.. it was defining a moment in sport history. With that victory King Roger not just tied Pistol Pete Sampras as all time Slam titles winner (14) but he entered the elite club (6 member today) of players who won at least one of all the 4 different Slams. I’m an avid tennis fan and believe me, not even an earthquake could have me distracted from the match! That was until GF and I decided to text each other throughout the whole match ( to keep each other company and quarterly-hour update on my health status) prompting me to say that she is most definitely the only human being - or supernatural force - that can divert my attention from Roger even when he’s playing for a place in history.
   


6. Sunday I’ve also won 200 euro (almost 300$) betting against my dad on the results at the Belmont Stakes race … he picked Mine That Bird (big favourite to win) I choose Summer Bird (a decent 11:1 odds) who indeed won the race. My mom picked Dunkirk who placed itself second, a pick based solely on the jokey jersey’s colour… nevertheless to say my dad ego where lower than Cleveland Cavs fan’s moral…
   


7. Later on Sunday afternoon I was back at the country club where I played tennis for a while with a new sparring. I call her CrazySally, ‘cause she kinda look like an anorexic pre-botoxed version of Meg Ryan… 37 yrs, married, no child, and right in the middle of the dreaded 7 years itch.. that’s probably why she cannot pass a second without complaining about her husband.. maybe I’m not the most social person of the world but somehow I believe that is not appropriate to talk with an almost total stranger (we played twice together) about your husband lack of passion in bed… or lack of everything as she bluntly stated. I blame Sex & the City to have convinced straight married woman that sharing and comparing sizes about husband/lover penises is rad.



8. Monday I moved into my new office space… I fucking hate it. The walls are painted in Smurfette’s blu, it’s an open space so that means no privacy whatsoever, so I’m relegated to very limited IM chatting or stupid youtube video sharing. Plus now that I’m more in contact with my colleagues I’m starting to revaluate the perks of my job.. and yes, only 24 hours has passed and I’m a drama queen.
   


9. Update: CrazySally just invited me to spend a week with her on the Red Sea in July... I've politely declined, not that there is to read anything more than disperation and loneliness in that invitation mind you..
   
   

10. And since desperate women (present GF excluded) are “attracted” to me like a moth to a flame…summer is blooming and my country club exhibitionist is back… I don’t think she’s an intentional nudist, just a fellow member who only comes in when the summer swimming pool opens up.. and by a twist of fate it looks like we have the exact same time schedule.. sort of.
    When I arrive at the locker room she’s usually naked and while I change myself she usually initiate a conversation with me, even if there are dozens other people inside (she always is right in front of my locker so I do not have many excuses to avoid her).
    The strange thing is that when I get ready she’s still naked!! I’m not a prude and I’ve absolutely no problem with nakedness but she’s just absurd…
    To add fuel to the absurdity when I come back either from a gym session or a tennis match who do I always, and I do mean always, find in front of the locker? Yep.. her.. and guess what? Always “wearing” her birthday-suit.. doesn’t matter if she’s coming or going to the showers.. there she is, parading her snatch. And even in the showers she’s always blabbing at me (startling me more than once ). She has absolutely no respect for personal space, like the time when she almost entered the shower with me before I stopped her with a look that could have been read as “another step and I punch you in the face, bitch” …or like the fact that she has this awkward habit to spread lotion on herself just inches away from me…and by spread I mean that she spend solid 20 minutes in doing so while I redress myself.
    Last evening she just went over the top when she asked me to closely look if the red spot between her tits (yep, you read it right) was a mosquito bite or something else… WTF?? Is it that ok? I don’t think so…
    I mean, it’s a locker room for god’s sake so it’s not a surprise that people walk around naked, but she’s too much invasive for my taste..

and in related - surprising for no one -news... Adam Lambert is gay and the Earth is round!