Italian News : The "Almost Queer" Edition-

Usually, looking for a queer news in Italy is like looking for some sense in Lost… you can try but in the end you are poised to fail and the only thing you'll get in return is a solid headache.

Recently however, the terms “gay” and “lesbian” have surfaced the news of this nice almost third world country that is Italy.

Times are changing you said? Not exactly…

Here's tonight top stories...

· Big Brother 9 welcomes 2 lesbian contestants… or so we thought.

It would have been the first time that 2 openly lesbian contestant ever entered a reality show in Italy (we had 3 openly gay contestant, 1 bi and many more not so open too…), so logically one would aspect a big media woo-woo. Nope, niet… the woo-woo lasted for about 2 millisecond.

The news broke out and was rebuffed back in the media closet in less than a minute.

Why? Because the real big news of this years “house” are the DDD sized boobs of another contestant… (and yes Syd, fear not, I’m posting a picture of those… )

One of the 2, presumably lesbians, is been voted off in last elimination, and not shockingly her first statement is been a clear deny of any allegations about her presumed homosexuality (to be fair she was “outed” by a youtube video - not the most reliable of sources- made by a self proclaimed ex-girlfriend, but apparently it was just a indie-documentary video of some sort with no relation with reality…).

Considering the level of idiocy of the program (in a recent challenge when asked what the Titicaca was, all the 14 contestant answered: “It is dance”… :S ) I’m almost relieved to not be represented in there.

and this is for Syd as promised

· Ballet god Roberto Bolle outed on a French magazine. Or not?

When one think of classical ballet it’s not news that “fierce masculinity” isn’t exactly the first thought that comes into mind…

For those of you who are not interested in classical ballet( and frankly I cannot blame you) Roberto Bolle
is a worldwide recognized “superstar” arguably one of the greatest dancer of his era on the same page as the celebrated Nureyev or Baryshnikov.
So when many online news headlines stated “Roberto Bolle: I’m gay” you can imagine the resounding big “D’uh” that is been heard all around the universe, gay or not.

Apparently during an interview with a French magazine Mr.Bolle had somehow leaked few tidbits of his private life that led the Italian Gay Association (ARCIGAY) to loudly proclaim his homosexuality to the world.

See how desperate we are for visibility?
We want so badly positive examples of successful Italian homos that we would out everybody we can…
I’m the first to admit that it would be nice if the all “outing or not outing” was not such a big issue but to force someone out of the closet (even a glass one like the one mr.bolle lives in) is cheap.
Btw right after the news headlined on the major news outlets Mr. Roberto Bolle released a statement in which he declared that his words have been improperly translated, that he talked about homosexuality in general and he was not referring to his private life.
He must have the same press agent Jodi Foster used to have…

And last but not least

· A song about a “converted homosexual” will participate at the Italian National Music Festival… and yes we are in 2009

Every year, since the last Ice Age I presume, we Italians are vexed by something that is both a tradition and a curse… the Sanremo Festival; think about the Eurovestival but only for Italians.

Is televised on the national tv and it last 4, and I repeat 4, freaking primetime evenings….

Generally the participants are D-listed singers, desperate newcomers and even more desperate old glories in search of the last limelight.

Frankly the situation cannot be described properly in all its pathetic nature.

You have to see it to believe it (and gauge your eyes and ears out…).

Every year this barnum-esque like event is always introduced in the prior weeks, by some kind of controversial dispute, doesn’t matter the nature of it, the important thing is to have the biggest number of people and media talk about the festival. For better or for worse.

This year stone of scandal has been provided by Italian songwriter Povia with the wisely titled song “Luca era gay” (Translation: Luke WAS gay), an happy song about a homo that now is "normal" again thanks to a girl that he meets and falls in love with

I let you regroup a second while I try not to scream angrly at my screen…

When the titled has been leaked to the press, weeks ago, of course every (all 2 of them) Italian LGBT associations have promoted a boycott campaign for the festival and on Povia's songs (no need to do that honestly since his last 2 albums I believe hasn’t been bought, or listened, not even by his close relatives..)

The singer defended himself saying that he wanted just to tell a story; too bad that from what some press sources says, in said song homosexuality is linked to common (and offensive) stereotypes like too much motherly love, absent father figure, been molested by a paedophile, parents separation…

At certain point it looked like the song was dedicated to a certain Luca Tolve a self proclaimed cured homosexual “thanks” to the theories and preachments of father Joseph Nicolosi.

A dude that thinks that gays can be “cured” with pray and faith (and somehow I don’t think he was referring to the Take That and George Micheal songs…)

Povia himself has declared:

“Homosexuality isn’t a illness but a deviance and that can be changed. I myself I had a gay-phase it lasted only 7 months. I’ve also converted two friends of mine they were gay now they are happily married”

I would like to stretch the term “happily”…

Too bad the complete and official song lyrics have not been disclosed yet (all songs competing are sworn to secrecy until their first exhibition) but as soon as I have those I swear I’m gonna dissect the test because frankly I’m too pissed off to be offended so I rather be humorous.

And It’s not the title that pisses me off. I accept people that from straight become gay and viceversa… maybe Luke wasn’t gay but bisexual..who knows, but mostly who cares…

I’m pissed off that some moron is allowed to sing on a national television that I’m “not normal” and that I’m gay because either I’ve been molested or my parents didn’t love me enough… THAT pisses me off…

Somehow I suspect that if someone would have proposed a song like “Luke was black” or “Luke was muslim” or “Luke was jew” the protests would have been much louder…

And just in case Povia is reading this and maybe he wants to change the title… here few suggestions:

- Luke was gay (now he calls himself Lola)
- Luke was gay (now he takes it up in the butt only when the wifey isn’t home)
- Luke was gay (Povia had “proved” him for 7 months..)
- Luke isn’t gay (but his boyfriend is…)



And with this we concluded our little segment about Italian news and queer culture… now you know why both me and the Lady are in desperate need to move somewhere else right?